THE HEART OF THE MATTER
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
To resolve conflict, it's important to get to the heart of the matter. People are encouraged to actively listen to each other and understand where each person is coming from. But if that's to be successful, we need to understand not only the heart of the matter, but what's in our hearts.
Strife and conflict. We see it in families, in the work place, at school, in the political arena and even in churches. It's nothing new. As long as there have been human beings, there have been disagreements, feuds, broken relationships and war. We even find it in the pages of the Bible.
In his letters to the Corinthians, Paul is writing to the Body of Christ in conflict. These early gentile Christians were struggling with how to live a new life as followers of Jesus. Arguments and conflict abounded. In the thirteenth chapter of Corinthians, Paul told them that it's not about who's right and who's wrong. What mattered was what was in their hearts.
In Anatomy of Peace -- Resolving the Heart of Conflict from the Arbinger Institute, the authors talk about the difference between approaching conflict from a Heart of War or form a Heart of Peace. Read through the lens of 1 Corinthians 13, I believe we can also ask if we come with a heart filled with the love of self or the love of Christ.
A heart ruled by the love of self is envious, boastful, arrogant and rude. It insists on getting its own way and may value winning at any cost. It will reduce those they disagree with to labels and will put conditions on who and what it loves. It creates win-lose situations. As Paul wrote, no matter what we do or claim we are, without the love of Christ ruling our hearts, we are nothing, and we gain nothing.
A heart ruled by the love of Christ is patient, kind, other-centered and self-sharing, and lives a life of integrity. It sees people as human beings created in the image of God and looks for the good in them. It shows compassion and is unconditional in it's love of others. A person with such a heart strives for a win-healing-peaceful resolution to conflict. A heart ruled by Christ's love exhibits emotional and spiritual maturity in all their relationships with others.
So, do we have a Heart of War or a Heart of Peace? Are our relationships and actions controlled and guided by the love of self or by the love of Christ? To find out, we need to take a hard, honest look at how we react and treat people, especially in times of conflict.
When we invite the Holy Spirit to go through the locked closets of our hearts with us, we are empowered to do the spiritual "spring cleaning" that' opens the way to forgiveness, healing and transformation. As uncomfortable as we may be with self-examination, it's important we do it. Unlike those jeans we haven't worn since 1978 that are sitting in the back of our clothes closets, our unconfessed selfish and unloving attitudes and behaviors are going to rot and stink up our live.
After confessing our sins and being cleansed of them, repentance is the next step. Repentance is action based. It's intentionally and with purpose living the love that Christ has shown us. It's making love an action-packed verb in every aspect of our life and in every relationship we're part of.
In conflict, it comes down to this. It's not about winning or being right. It's about being Christ's love incarnate.
To resolve conflict, it's important to get to the heart of the matter. People are encouraged to actively listen to each other and understand where each person is coming from. But if that's to be successful, we need to understand not only the heart of the matter, but what's in our hearts.
Strife and conflict. We see it in families, in the work place, at school, in the political arena and even in churches. It's nothing new. As long as there have been human beings, there have been disagreements, feuds, broken relationships and war. We even find it in the pages of the Bible.
In his letters to the Corinthians, Paul is writing to the Body of Christ in conflict. These early gentile Christians were struggling with how to live a new life as followers of Jesus. Arguments and conflict abounded. In the thirteenth chapter of Corinthians, Paul told them that it's not about who's right and who's wrong. What mattered was what was in their hearts.
In Anatomy of Peace -- Resolving the Heart of Conflict from the Arbinger Institute, the authors talk about the difference between approaching conflict from a Heart of War or form a Heart of Peace. Read through the lens of 1 Corinthians 13, I believe we can also ask if we come with a heart filled with the love of self or the love of Christ.
A heart ruled by the love of self is envious, boastful, arrogant and rude. It insists on getting its own way and may value winning at any cost. It will reduce those they disagree with to labels and will put conditions on who and what it loves. It creates win-lose situations. As Paul wrote, no matter what we do or claim we are, without the love of Christ ruling our hearts, we are nothing, and we gain nothing.
A heart ruled by the love of Christ is patient, kind, other-centered and self-sharing, and lives a life of integrity. It sees people as human beings created in the image of God and looks for the good in them. It shows compassion and is unconditional in it's love of others. A person with such a heart strives for a win-healing-peaceful resolution to conflict. A heart ruled by Christ's love exhibits emotional and spiritual maturity in all their relationships with others.
So, do we have a Heart of War or a Heart of Peace? Are our relationships and actions controlled and guided by the love of self or by the love of Christ? To find out, we need to take a hard, honest look at how we react and treat people, especially in times of conflict.
When we invite the Holy Spirit to go through the locked closets of our hearts with us, we are empowered to do the spiritual "spring cleaning" that' opens the way to forgiveness, healing and transformation. As uncomfortable as we may be with self-examination, it's important we do it. Unlike those jeans we haven't worn since 1978 that are sitting in the back of our clothes closets, our unconfessed selfish and unloving attitudes and behaviors are going to rot and stink up our live.
After confessing our sins and being cleansed of them, repentance is the next step. Repentance is action based. It's intentionally and with purpose living the love that Christ has shown us. It's making love an action-packed verb in every aspect of our life and in every relationship we're part of.
In conflict, it comes down to this. It's not about winning or being right. It's about being Christ's love incarnate.
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