I DO WITH GOD

With Jesus' help we can fight the temptation to commit adultery.  When it comes to our marriages, saying "I do, with God," can help us weather the challenges of life that may weaken our relationships with life partners.


I remember our wedding like it was yesterday, well, sort of.  There was that part between my father walking me down the aisle and our first kiss as a married couple that is a blank.  I don't remember what I actually promised, but I'm pretty sure it was something like this:

“In the name of God,

I, Name, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

until we may be parted by death.

This is my solemn vow.”

       “Service of Christian Marriage,” United Methodist Hymnal, p. 867

In the Name of God, I Take You to Be My Spouse

Before the ink is even dried on the marriage license, we invoke the participation of God and God's grace in the marriage covenant.  We acknowledge that it is by God's authority and power in our lives that the promises we are about to make to each other can be kept, true and strong.

For Better or for Worse

A couple was celebrating celebrating their sixty-fifth wedding anniversary.  At the party, a friend of the husband pulled him aside and asked, "How is it that you've been able to wake up to the same woman for sixty-five years?"

The husband thought for a moment, and then answered.  "I've often wondered that myself.  Then I get up and look in the bathroom mirror and realize I've gotten the better end of the deal."

For better or for worse -- that's how God loves us, unconditionally.  Throughout the history of humanity and our own relationship with God, when our love fails, God's love remains.

And that's true in the life of a committed relationship.  While there will be times we can't believe how much we love our significant other, the trials and challenges of life will wear that down our feelings for one another.  Problems will distract us, and there are times when we're not even sure we like our spouses, let alone love them.  Those are the times when we draw upon the love of God that always remains to strengthen our bond and draw us closer together.

And it is in that strength that we will seek help and guidance when life overwhelms our relationship.

"In the name of God, by God's grace, I will stay with you, no matter what."

To Love

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

                                             1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NRSV)

This is one of the passages that may be read at weddings.  Taken out of context, it can be seen as a romanticized view of human love.  Paul intended it to be a description of Christ's love lived out in all our relationships.

God's unconditional love expressed through Jesus, is more concerned with the beloved than with the gratification of self.  It humble -- other-centered, self-giving and steadfast and faithful.  This is the kind of love that listens without giving criticism or advice and encourages and builds up the other.  It is compassionate, quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. (James 1:19).  It is forgiving and hopeful.

We can grow in love for each other as we grow in Christ together through prayer, worship, study and the building of supportive networks of Christian friends.

"In the name of God, by God's grace, I love you as Christ has loved me."

To Cherish

"Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."

                    Ephesians 5:21

This verse and the passage that follows it in Ephesians 5 defines what it means to cherish the beloved.

To be subject to or to submit to one another is to mutually place one another in under the protection and guidance of the other, loving as Christ loves us.

Placing it within the context of our culture, I believe it means to honor and respect the wisdom and gifts that each brings to the marriage.  It calls us to nurture and care for one another holistically, mind, body and soul as well as demonstrating that the other has special place in our life, spiritually, emotionally and physically

Courtship should never end.  Love should never be taken for granted, and special time, like a regular date night, should be scheduled into our busy lives, even while raising children.   Investing in the core relationship of our marriage keeps families strong.

"In the name of God, by God's grace, I will honor, respect and care for you as you will honor, respect and care for me." 

"In the name of God, by God's grace, with God, through God, until we may be parted by death.  This is my solemn vow.”