RE-SETTING OUR PRIORITIES, Part 3: #3 MINISTRY TO OUR FAMILY

I Corinthians 13:4-6
Ephesians 5:21-33

    "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."                  (Ephesians 5:21)

Series Recap:

We started the series looking at a priority list that will help us order our lives to be in right relationship with God, our families, the world, and even ourselves. 

1. Our Relationship with God
2. Self Care
3. Our Ministry to Our Family
4. Making Disciples (our missional relationships to our community of faith and the world)

Today, we're looking at number 3 on the list, Our Ministry to Our Family. Whatever your family looks like, even if you have no children or are grandparents, there's something for you. 

Before we get started, I have a question for you to think about: how is ministry to our family like pilates?

When Paul was writing to the Ephesians, the cultural definition of what constituted a family was based on a foundation of two parents. Today, we recognize that the basic family unit comes in several configurations:

• A couple with no children.
• Two parents with children.
• Single parent families
• Families where grand parents have a share in parenting responsibilities.

The one thing that all these family units have is common is a core of an adult relationship based on love and commitment. That's how ministry to our families is like pilates.

Pilates focuses on the strengthening the body's core muscles.  When our core is physically strong, it impacts the strength and health of the rest of our body.  So, too, when our ministry to our family focuses on stengthening the the relational core of the adults, then the children and the rest of the family benefit from it.  

It starts with our individual commitments to our relationship with God and self care, including building a positive, supportive network of adult relationships.  We can't give our best to our families without practicing our first two priorities.

In Ephesians 5:21-33, we are given instructions on how to care and nurture that core relationship. It begins with with the command to be subject to or to submit to one another in reverence for Christ in a way that honors and reflects Christ in our actions.

We are called to put ourselves under the care and guidance of one another.  There is no hierarchical power structure implied in this command.  It calls for a relationship of mutual trust and respect and, as John Wesley put it, watching out over one another in love.

The quality of that love is the same unconditional and humble love of Christ that is described in I Corinthians 13:4-6.  It is other-centered:  

Love never gives up.  It cares more for others more than itself; it isn't always "me first."  Love doesn't strut or have a swelled head.  It doesn't try to impose its will on others.  It doesn't fly off the handle, and it never keeps score or holds grudges.  Love doesn't gloat when others fail but rejoices in their success.  It puts up with anything, always looking for the best in people.  Love trusts in God, never gives up and keeps going to the end.  (based on I Corinthians 13:4-6, MSG)

No matter what, through the love of Christ, we commit ourselves to trusting and respecting each other as we support and help each other become the people God created us to be.  We will watch over one another in love as we encourage one another in caring for oneself, mind, body and soul.

To do so, we begin by making sure that our relationship with God through Christ is the center of our family. Praying for one another and having a shared time of devotions is important for adults as well as children.  

After all, if adults don't lead the way and model the importance of staying in love with God, children aren't going to pick it up by osmosis going to church and Sunday School once a week. Parents are a child's first teachers, and they and other significant adults in children's lives, like grandparents, are their first spiritual leaders.  Modeling Christ in our lives and passing along the importance of keeping God first in our lives teaches our children God's instructions for becoming loving and compassionate people as well what it means to be a disciple of Christ.

An important part of self care in the family is quality time, doing things that bring us joy and allows us to have fun as we strengthen the bonds between ourselves, our spouses, our friends and our family.  

As a couple, quality time is important enough to be written in ink on our calendars, remembering that what isn't considered important enough to be planned, probably isn't going to happen.  Date night is a holy time, time set aside for the purpose of being present with and for each other.

Family time is just as holy.  Quality time as a family means setting aside the busyness of schedules and the rushing from one activity to another to spend time with each other:  sitting down together for a meal every day, a movie or game night or planning family activities as part of our Sunday afternoon Sabbath.  

As we minister to our families by strengthening our core relationship, we create a safe and loving place to raise and nurture children.  Living out the love of Christ in our parenting, we're able to watch over our children in love as we set healthy boundary's and limitations that come with consequences that teach them important life lessons that will help them to thrive as adults.  We share our love with our children through praise and encouragement as they learn to be in right relationship with God and with others.

Ministry to our family is about keeping the our relational core with our partners strong through mutual care and loving each other as Christ loves us.  We nurture our relationships through spiritual and personal quality time, both individual and shared with the family.

This sets the example for our children in their adult lives as they build committed relationships with their own life partners, bring up their children in a loving environment and become the people God created them to be.

How do you plan to improve your ministry to your family?