FOR MY SISTER, PAULA

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The prodigal daughter came home from a distant country, a reality created by mental illness and alcohol abuse.  There was no ring to assure she was and always will be part of our family, no fattened calf and no party.  Instead, we sat at her bedside in an ICU, surrounded by beeps and the sound of the ventilator, IV bags and lines and a feeding tube.  She was unable to respond to us, and after years of estrangement, she seemed like a stranger to me.
I have counseled many who sat at the bed sides of their loved ones to share memories with them through stories. So, that's what I did -- I told her the stories of of our growing up together, recounting the adventures of our childhood.  Through those stories, I reunited with the sister I grew up with.  Paula, perky Paula, making friends wherever she went; always on the go, ready for anything and willing to try anything, at least twice; seldom ever silent, talking a mile a minute.

Anger melted away as I realized that the person we called Paula was the product of the symptoms of her mental illness, her compulsions and her paranoia.  With the power of stories, God reminded me that she was and always will be his daughter, created in his image.  I rediscovered my love for her. 

When we were children, Paula would crawl into my bed at night when she was frightened.  So I let her back into my heart, and for seven days, I prayed for her, asked for forgiveness and forgave her.  I sang to her, told her not to be afraid and loved her through to the end of her life.

Some say that it takes two people to reconcile, but when God is involved, anything can happen.  It's said that we are in the midst of death in life.  By God's redeeming grace through Christ, God who redeems even death itself, we find life in the midst of death.  God gave me back my little sister, and even though it was for a brief time, I will always be thankful.

Comments

  1. CarmAugust 30, 2016 at 12:38 PM

    And in the end, you were the big sister she needed, the one person who could love her unconditionally, who remembered the person she was. I thank you, for I know how hard your journey was, but for Paula you made her journey so much easier. ~ Carm

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